It used to be the case that I didn't understand that when things go sour, it does not mean that God's hand isn't in it. Happy things were attributed to God working in my life. But suffering is also used by our Lord. Jesus also suffered, and he asked for the cup to be taken away. Thinking about this during my times in praying the sorrowful mysteries of the Holy Rosary, I have come to understand that it was God's will for sorrowful things to happen in my life as well. Meditating on the mysteries of the Rosary must include a connection to our own lives. This is necessary for spiritual growth.
Be encouraged today to just keep on praying and amending your life to be more pleasing to God each day. Read the Bible. If you are lazy, put on EWTN to learn from, borrow a movie like "The Gospel of John" from the library, or listen to the Word of God through a CD. But daily get something somehow some way from the Holy Scriptures. When you pray the Rosary, you are praying the Gospel. So pray the Rosary every day.
Every Sunday Mass is a must. Make time for it no matter how many other things are pulling at you for your time. Even if you haven't "felt" anything, even if it is just to go and get it over with so that you have the rest of the day free for other endeavors, continue to go. Sometimes it seems like God isn't even there in the Church. Sometimes it seems like He has forgotten you. Maybe you have tried to find Him, but can't, there are so many beliefs, so many different religions. I can assure you of this, if you seek Him, you will find Him. He wants you to seek Him. He will reveal Himself to you as you are able to receive the truth. To some He can only do so a little at a time, and to others He can bring you close like a small child can sit right up on the lap of his or her father for interaction and love and affection.
Do not be afraid to risk feeling or looking like a fool. I have found that there are always people unwittingly listening to the evil one, who want to drag people along with them to indulge in sinful things. What are their opinions to you? You have to be true to yourself, to find God and live your own life. The truth is there for you, and you can study and learn all about God, and still not "know" Him. When you pray the Rosary, Mary, His Mother can best show Him to you, for she knows Him better than any other human being.
You were created unique and special. Your gifts, your talents, these are blessings that have been given to you by God, Himself, and as you begin to use them as God designed them to be used, to glorify Him, you will find that you will be given new and better friends. You will begin to see that you belong to a holy family of brothers and sisters who are not perfect but cultivate gardens of virtues in their lives that helps you to want to sin less and please our Heavenly Father more.
None of us has all the answers. None of us knows it all. None of us has all the gifts of the Holy Spirit. As the Scriptures say, we are all parts of His body, with Jesus being the head. All of us are important to the whole, and it is a mystery how everything works together for the good of them who serve the Lord.Think about it this way: Jesus chose to lay His life down for us to save us from sin and death. He prayed to our Father, not His will, but that of the Father be done, agreeing to do whatever it took to liberate us and save our souls. Jesus embraced what was going to happen willingly, always having in His power as the Son of God to say NO.
In His Paschal sacrifice, His death, what appeared to be a tragic ending, it was, in fact, the ultimate victory. God will likewise use all of our sufferings for the benefit and value of His redemption plan. Trust Jesus. He did not come to condemn the world, He came to reconcile us to God. You don't have to understand how it all works, but it does.
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