Surrender to Jesus and Mary

Especially when one is from a disadvantaged background, you can get caught up in hustling for a buck and falling into all manner of sin as you manage to struggle through one day and waking up to the next. The next day happens to be another like the one before more or less, and you are a victim of circumstance, reacting the best you can and rolling with the punches. There were times I thought that if I could just make it through the night until tomorrow arrived, it would be a better day; and I was surprised to find that the bright sunny day did not bring with it the miracle that I needed.

I tried to fight off the cruel oppressive world, I'd battle with myself, and try once more to stop sinning. I tried to have false hope because it was better than no hope. I tried to do the right thing in the midst of a gone-wrong life in a confusing and conflicted society. I tried to make better decisions. I tried to dig myself out of a deep hole. I could see the financial crisis and the losses of all sorts in my life. But I did believe God existed, somewhere out there, maybe He even resided in my heart, I knew I had a good heart.

Life was like a roller coaster ride for me. Maybe you've been there. Maybe you're there right now. If you're dealing with addiction, with an impossible work situation, or you feel like you will never find love; all is not lost. I've been there. Sometimes I still have to fight off those demons. Just about the time I've mastered one area, another temptation raises up to try to entice me to do something else that I know would not be pleasing to our Lord.

These days things are very different, though. I am not directionless, adrift in the midst of a great deadly ocean without a Life Savor. This change did not come about because I learned how to kick a bad habit or to master a new technique in some innovative psychological methodology. I stopped focusing on me and my pain and demanding all of my wishes come true. By the grace of God I understood that my whole life was spent trying to have my own way, and it was, big shocker, God whom I was really resisting. I responded, I surrendered to Jesus and Mary. I'm one of those "late arrivals" spoken of in today's homily (provided here below for your convenience.)

I know what is happening now that I am walking in the light. I am able to recognize that sin is always there at my door, and refuse it entry. There is spiritual warfare going on in our lives. There is testing and purification that is on-going, too. So I may fall down, but I am not out. I get up again, dust myself off, get to confession, and hold my head up once again. It is defeating to look at all the times I have fallen rather than remind myself of all of the times that I stood back up. And with Jesus and Mary to help me, and smile upon me and my little victories over sin, I am strengthened all the more to gladly say yes to God's will. I want to set those vices aside that are shameful and lead to ruin, and replace them all with life-transforming holy virtues. Don't you?

Today's Gospel Reading: Matthew 12:38-42

{12:38} Then certain ones from the scribes and the Pharisees responded to him, saying, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.”
{12:39} And answering, he said to them: “An evil and adulterous generation seeks a sign. But a sign will not be given to it, except the sign of the prophet Jonah.
{12:40} For just as Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days and three nights, so shall the Son of man be in the heart of the earth for three days and three nights.
{12:41} The men of Nineveh shall arise in judgment with this generation, and they shall condemn it. For, at the preaching of Jonah, they repented. And behold, there is a greater than Jonah here.
{12:42} The Queen of the South shall arise in judgment with this generation, and she shall condemn it. For she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon. And behold, there is a greater than Solomon here.