Grace and humility puts us on the road that leads to life

My eldest son selected the front pew, and the family members who went to Mass with us all followed him in. All of us could fit in the pew to sit there, but the area to kneel on padding was shorter, and someone would need to kneel on the carpeted floor. I wanted to change places with my son so that I could perform reparation. He wouldn't agree to a more comfortable spot with me kneeling on the floor. He invited me next to him, and we were both able to fit there kneeling without blocking the aisle.

After receiving our Lord in the Holy Eucharist, as I prayed, I happened to look over at my son. He was kneeling there in humble prayer with his eyes closed and his head bowed in reverence to God. I was aware of my son's difficulties in life and the temptations he battles, and I was sorry for him and for my part in it. I know that some of what he goes through is because of my own sinfulness when he lived under my roof, as a child. I was in awe at how he had become such a good and wonderful man, a responsible father, and a faithful husband to his wife. He has cheated the designs the evil one has for him and his life. He loves Jesus and reaches out to others with the love of Christ.He loves the Catholic Church and defends the faith. My son strives to be virtuous and pleasing to God. It is obvious to me that my son is a Christian who daily humbles himself and cooperates with the grace of God at work in his life. It is awe-inspiring and glorious to behold.

As I prayed, I asked the Lord to have mercy on my son for his sins, and for things he has not yet learned, and for those sins that he has not yet been able to conquer. I cried. Oh Lord, how wrong I was as a young parent, who had unrealistic expectations of my firstborn son. I was far too demanding and harsh with him. It is truly a blessed humiliation to admit that we have sinned, and to experience God's grace and mercy and reconciliation.

God is loving and merciful. When we cooperate with His miraculous, transforming grace, we become more like Jesus and Mary. Conversion, at heart, is not a one day occurrence with a vocal claim of repentance, but a lifetime occurrence within one's heart of daily cooperation with God's grace, bringing forth visible fruit of true repentance, evidenced in virtuous living. My son and I have a great relationship. We pray the Holy Rosary on Saturdays and we go to Mass together. We share good times together, and in hard times, we help bear one another's burdens. We love each other. And we encourage and affirm each other as we strive for holiness.

We've got a long way to go, but we have found the right road, the hard, narrow one that leads to life. My prayer for you, dear reader, is that you join us there. Quoting from St. John the Baptist in today's Gospel reading: "I am the voice of one crying out in the desert, 'Make straight the way of the Lord,' as Isaiah the prophet said."

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/010212.cfm (I will add the EWTN homily for 1/2/2012 as soon as it becomes available and I am able to share it.)

Some days are worse than others

Noise. Children squabble. Neighbors fight. Mothers yell and cuss. Fathers slam doors. A car stops nearby with the radio blasting disgusting obscenities toward women.  I hear the train sounding a long warning. I hear above me, the air traffic, is low today. The threatening storm will bring thunder. There are automobiles with their horns being blown repeatedly by impatient, insistent drivers. The television, the cable, the internet videos are loud with violence. Several people need something from me, right now. They are all talking to me at once. There is the demand for prompt intervention. An angry critical voice expects an answer immediately. Sibling rivalry escalates, needing the referee. I shout instructions from one room to another, "don't answer the phone! It's a bill collector." A delivery person rings the doorbell. The dog barks dramatically, relentlessly, broadcasting her intruder alert. The washer has become unbalanced, bam, bam, bam, bam! The baby wakes up, startled, and wails. Noise.

Some days are worse than others. Hang in there. Remember, this too shall pass :)

Ave Maris Stella

Hail bright star of ocean,
God's own Mother blest,
Ever sinless Virgin,
Gate of heavenly rest
Taking that sweet Ave
Which from Gabriel came,
Peace confirm within us,
Changing Eva's name.
Break the captives' fetters,
Light on blindness pour,
All our ills expelling,
Every bliss implore.
Show thyself a Mother;
May the Word Divine,
Born for us thy Infant,
Hear our prayers through thine
Virgin all excelling,
Mildest of the mild,
Freed from guilt, preserve us,
Pure and undefiled.
Keep our life all spotless,
Make our way secure,
Till we find in Jesus
Joy for evermore
Through the highest heaven
To the Almighty Three
Father, Son, and Sprit
One same glory be,

Amen.

Working on my first book

More work on my first book was done today. I just forced myself to be finished for the night. So here I am making a note to say good-night in a way to honor my Lord and my Lady. In a heart that is thankful for my gifts and talents, I am able to work with this hateful computer and learn more about the ins and outs of the things that DO work on this 'ole dinosaur machine, because I want to share my love and understanding of spiritual matters.

It was a long and tiring time, actually, because it was all work and very little sharing of my heart today. It was a day of practicalities and little prayer. Tomorrow I will probably have a bit more prayer, get a little more of the practical and technical details worked on and figured out, more of a balance.

Yet I am looking forward to the actual writing, which I began nearly a week ago. That is a joy postponed, but coming soon. It could have been done today, I guess, but I'd rather get the work done first. Then I can enjoy the writing task as the passion of mine that it is without having to stop repeatedly for format type issues.

So for now, time to get a few hours sleep, having made sure to enter a blog post to say thank you My Holy Mother, for your "yes" to be the mother of my Lord, Jesus. It's the feast of the Epiphany and we can both remember those days and nights with a baby needing us so. Missing those times. Blessed times. Focusing on the Joyful Mysteries which I'm writing on sure brings back wondrous and glorious memories. Love.