Hanging with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

Tonight, after what seemed a trying and difficult day, I went to the Byzantine Catholic Liturgy. My children noticed right away that the Blessed Virgin Mary window high up at the top of the church looked blue. I looked at it and thought that perhaps she was sad like me. Somebody had put a blue light bulb up there. Well, it worked for me. I felt like it was a sign that the saints know how difficult my life is right now, and that they care about me. The Blessed Virgin Mary was interceding for me.

Perhaps because I had written an article to honor Father Joseph, the demons were fierce in battle against me. People hear about bad things that priests have done, and my article shows a very good and holy man of God who is a priest. The Holy Spirit really said a lot through me in that piece: http://www.examiner.com/x-4317-Denver-Roman-Catholic-Examiner~y2009m12d14-Look-out-Santa-Father-Joseph-laughs-jovially-too

If I had been in better spirits, I'm sure that I would have remembered more of what was said by Father Michael. I know that it was fascinating, that I'd never heard of such a thing before. And that I wanted to know more about it. I also knew that there was no way that I was in any state of mind to properly remember what he was saying to us, as Father Michael gave us the days of the week being designated for certain saints and angels to intercede for us. Yet I did pick up the calendar to have the saint days so that I know who I am supposed to pray to as I will now join in with the rest of the world-wide church community. Wow! I never knew this before. And I will pray with the Latin saint as well.

This is the first and only time that I went to the Holy Byzantine Liturgy and just felt the need to be comforted by being there. I go there to worship God the best way I know how. Today, I did that, but it was different. I needed to be there for me, too. And you know, it's a funny thing--it's the first time that I was ever in Holy Protection of the Mother of God that I thought it could have used a few more icons. Imagine that, there were so many bare spots on the walls that I'd never noticed before!

Today I am blue like that light bulb. The light is still there within me, of course, but it is darkened and without joy. And with this blue attitude, I saw more of the white walls than the many holy icons of the saints. Perspective change. Interesting. A different view of reality. A different experience brought on because of what is inside of me. The saints did not seem so powerful tonight. In fact, they seemed fewer. And smaller.

But they were still there. If I hadn't gone to the holy Liturgy, they would have seemed altogether invisible. I'm glad the Virgin Mary window was blue tonight. It helps me remember that to all of the holy saints, I exist and I am not invisible. We need to go to church and be with others who believe. And we need to see our holy saints. I thank them all for being there for me today. Sometimes you just need to hang out with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Like salve on a wound, it really helps :).